Conversations in the Philippines

"If you want to get there by midday, we have to leave here at nine o'clock. Maybe even earlier."

"Are you serious? But I saw it on Google Maps. It's only twenty k's away."

"We have to go through Quiapo. Have you been through Quiapo on a Saturday? You'll want to cry."

"In Auckland, if you want to drive twenty k's on a Saturday, you'll get there in ten minutes."

Thank you, Ellen Page

I wasn't going to blog today, but actress, personal style icon and actual adorable human being Ellen Page just came out.

I'll say it again: Actual adorable human being

In a calm, yet strong and powerful, speech delivered at the Human Rights Commission's Time to THRIVE Conference in Las Vegas, Page declares:

Then again, it’s not easy at all. It can be the hardest thing, because loving other people starts with loving ourselves and accepting ourselves. I know many of you have struggled with this. I draw upon your strength and your support, and have, in ways you will never know. 

I’m here today because I am gay. And because… maybe I can make a difference. To help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility.

But that's not even why her speech was so remarkable. She starts off tackling heteronormativity and gender roles, and the consequences of not submitting to what society believes is the "normal" way to act as a man or a woman, as a straight person and as a queer person, etc.

Semester One 2014 - Expectations vs Worst-Case vs Probable Reality

Countdown to the first semester of my second year is standing at 17 days. Here's what's on the menu for the next 3 and a bit months, and what I'm bracing myself for.


EDUC | Schooling Ethnic Diversity
Expectations: Readings and lectures on how Māori, Pasifika, and varied Asian and African learning philosophies complement and clash with the Pākehā-centered learning system. Classmates possess some sociological imagination, or at the least, some empathy, and like to keep discussion alive.

Worst-case scenario: Class is populated by apathetic kids who need an easy pass. Lecturer or tutor does enough to provoke a "Having scholarships for Māori and Pasifika students is racist against white people," out of them.

Probable reality: Lecturers and tutors go out of their way not to say anything contentious. Most classmates will be international students. Lecturer will often ask the question, "So, how do they do it in your country?" At least once in the semester, they will direct that question to me.

Balikbayan

On the Northern Luzon Expressway, just past the north of Metro Manila

It takes a kind of bravery to exist in Metro Manila, a sprawling, diverse area of 11 million people. Sidewalks teem with houses that appear to have just sprouted from the ground, like every space is fit for human habitation - even if that isn't the case. Streets are just downright scary, with pickpocketing urchins and handsy perverts straight out of a Dickens novel. And let's not even start on the drivers.

Unlike my brothers, I left the Philippines on the brink of adolescence. I remember plenty about Manila. The heavy smog, the sticky heat, the traffic, the malls. I have the deep brown skin of a Manileña who may have walked places because sitting in the car would have taken longer. I speak Tagalog not only fluently, but with the cadence and the expressions of someone who played on Manila streets as a little girl - albeit in a gated subdivision.

But my education was spent and will be completed in Auckland. It's where I learned to drive. To date. To take public transport. It's where I found out that people can be good, and they can be bad, even without meaning to. It's where my friends are. It's where my life is.

Auckland has made me too soft for Manila, whether it intended to or not. I might have lived there once, but I can't see myself living there anymore. Yet I will never forget the smell of rotting sewers during heavy rain, the haphazardly layered shanty towns, and the way roads surrounding churches turn into a jumble of humans and vehicles on Sundays.

I suppose you don't forget anything about places you consider home.

Density. It's more fun in the Philippines.

We touched down at Ninoy Aquino International Airport's Terminal 1 for the first time in six years. Just an hour and 20 minutes before that, we were out of breath after running to our departure gate at Hong Kong International Airport. We received last minute boarding passes to the afternoon flight to Manila. And just 12 hours before that, we were at Auckland International Airport, preparing for takeoff.

The first thing I notice about Manila - and the thing I keep noticing - is the overwhelming recurrence of density. The lines at immigration were manageable enough, but once we got to baggage claim, the crowd around the conveyor belt was around 3-4 people thick all the way around. The whole area is lit in sickly yellow light.

As a child, I've passed through this place hundreds of times. It hasn't changed much. Except the tourism ad banners that draped the walls bore the new slogan decreed by the government: "More fun in the Philippines". Everything is more fun in the Philippines when you view it through rose-tinted glasses.

What Ned Vizzini gave me

This morning, I woke up to the news that writer Ned Vizzini had passed away at the age of 32.

Be More Chill was perhaps my first proper introduction to young adult fiction. Prior to finding this book untouched at the bottom of a shelf in a Powerbooks store in Manila, I just powered my way through Harry Potter and Nancy Drew novellas. I think I was 11 at the time.

My next encounter with Ned Vizzini's work was not until five or six years later, when I borrowed It's Kind of a Funny Story from the public library. While Be More Chill presented the ordinary loner Jeremy's actions to be driven by the desperate need to be cool, It's Kind of a Funny Story showed Craig's actions to be driven by pure, raw hope. And although Craig took the course of the entire novel to realise that, it was obvious to the reader early on.

After that, Vizzini became a favourite writer of mine. I read all of his published works, because seeing his name on the spine of an unfamiliar book, or affixed to an unheard-of title, never failed to excite me. Only a few other authors elicit the same effect.

#NotYourAsianSidekick: an amazing and necessary conversation

Spaces that are powered by Asian women in Western countries have been lacking in the feminist movement, even in an age where the internet has made it easier for this kind of activism to happen.

#NotYourAsianSidekick This is beginning b/c for too long I've complained about not having an AAPI space that represents me.
— Suey Park (@suey_park) December 15, 2013

Asian-American writer and activist Suey Park started a Twitter conversation, #NotYourAsianSidekick, hoping to address Asian-American feminism and social justice. However, thousands of people from all over the world participated in the conversation. It trended for over 13 hours, enough time for it to attract the attention of blogs and major media outlets.

Check out some of my favourite #NotYourAsianSidekick tweets!